Be Powerfully Angry
So I’m back with another article in the emotional literacy series.
Like I said before, our emotions aren’t our enemies and they don’t hold some ancient grudge against us. They’re just showing us exactly where our weak points are so we can fix them.
In “Be a Kind Jealous Person,” I showed you how to turn jealousy into something that works in your favor. Now it’s time to talk about managing anger.
What is anger? That feeling of exploding in a specific moment 😡😅
Why does anger come for us? Because we’ve decided to teach a lesson to whoever hurt us, samurai-style 🩴🤨
Why do we choose anger specifically? Why not hatred, or kindness, or stress?
Because that person questioned our boundaries and stepped over our red lines, and we have every right to put them in their place 😏🙅🏻♀️
Yes. Exactly! Anger erupts in the exact moment someone crosses our boundaries, and it’s absolutely necessary that we rebuild those boundaries — stronger than before — so that neither that person nor anyone else can hurt us again. 🫵🏻
Let me give you an example to make this clearer. Imagine you’re using your phone and a warning notification pops up from Instagram saying someone logged into your account, and you need to change your password right now or your private information will be handed over on a silver platter.
What do you do in that moment? Do you go back to whatever you were doing, or do you rush to change your password immediately?
Right, exactly. Any sane person would go change their password immediately.
Anger is exactly that alert — the “unauthorized login” warning telling you it’s time to change the password.
So now that we understand this, what’s the useful takeaway from anger? The important thing is that we shouldn’t excuse rudeness, disrespect, or being closed-off to feedback by calling it “having boundaries.” Some people get angry and immediately go beat someone up, and in some cases it even ends in murder — all because they never understood the power of anger or how to manage their emotions.
But here’s where things really go wrong…
Instead of healing your anger, you suppress it.
And after that suppression, disaster follows — I won’t even sugarcoat it for you.
It wounds your soul (the anger you felt over some social hurt, which you suppressed so you wouldn’t be judged or abandoned, makes you feel powerless and defenseless, and that poisons your spirit 🤕)
It also builds up and eventually explodes — one small trigger, and suddenly it wrecks everything beyond repair (anger that’s been piling up beyond what you can hold suddenly floods through and destroys every corner of your life like a flash flood, even damaging your relationships with loved ones who were good to you, and you lose them too 🥲)
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It makes your body sick too (suppressed anger does serious damage to your insulin levels, your stomach, and your intestines, causing stomach bleeding, sudden blood sugar spikes, and severe stomach cramps 🤢)
It also slows down the energy flow in your solar plexus chakra 😵💫 (anger is one of the emotions directly tied to the third chakra — the solar plexus chakra. This chakra is connected to the pancreas, which controls insulin secretion in the body, which is why your blood sugar might suddenly spike out of control during an emotional outburst. Interestingly, both the pancreas and the solar plexus chakra share the same golden-yellow color)
It also paralyzes your nervous system 🤯 (suppressing anger causes your subconscious to keep replaying that scene over and over, and each time it triggers a surge of adrenaline that puts your body into survival and stress mode. Over time, this wears down and weakens your nervous system, creating all kinds of problems for you)
Honestly, is it fair to yourself to destroy your own body and mind through suppression, instead of actually solving the real problem?
So let’s work through the solution together 🤝🏻
Anger Management Exercise
Look, the techniques I share throughout this emotional literacy series are meant to help you become friends with your own emotions, so that by connecting with both your light and dark feelings, you can elevate your life, your spirituality, and more.
As always, grab your practice notebook, because we’ve got an interesting exercise ahead. I’m sure that after doing it, you’ll say, “Sorvenaz, I feel as light as a feather, completely free — I feel so good 🕊.”
Honestly, every single time I do this exercise myself, it’s like pulling a heavy iron ball out of my chest and setting it down on the ground. It feels amazing.
Step One: Write down everyone who’s made you angry, and if you’d like, jot down the story behind it too. Don’t judge yourself. Write down whatever comes to mind about that person. Torture them in your imagination if you have to — just let your feelings out freely.
Step Two: Look closely and figure out exactly which weak point of yours each of these situations touched. That weak point is exactly your key to healing.
Now think about what positive action you can take to turn that weak point into a strength — and doing so will temper you like steel.
At this stage, we don’t need to pray for anyone. Honestly, just not drilling three holes into them is already doing them a huge favor 😏😂
Here’s an example so you can figure out the rest of the process yourself.
Example: You were in a discussion with your professor over some topic at university, and in the middle of it, someone who’s always trying to look good in front of others says something that upsets and angers you — to the point where you want to smash your book over their head 😠. Your face turns red, you feel completely thrown off. In that moment, you try to stay calm, but that’s exactly what suppresses your anger and turns it into a new hammer you end up swinging at yourself. 🥺
Where exactly was your weak point in this story? Instead of being able to make your point clearly to your professor, you ended up arguing with them (of course, academic debate is a different matter).
So what’s the solution? Learn — through practice and repetition of communication techniques — to turn this weakness into a strength, so you can express yourself more easily and get the proper answers to your questions from your professor.
You might also run into someone whose behavior has crossed into actual psychological harm, and you’ll want to corner them for it. But if you practice this technique professionally, first save your own nerves and peace of mind, and turn your weaknesses into strengths. Then sit back and enjoy watching the very person who hurt you come crawling back, trying to get close to you again just to build up their own image — and in that exact moment, walk right past them and let them understand they don’t deserve to be near you. That is the most painful punishment you can ever give someone. Make sure to socially hold accountable anyone who crossed your boundaries, distance yourself from them, and tell others why — so they learn that wrongdoing doesn’t go unanswered. Consistent, ongoing isolation is the cleanest punishment you can prescribe for someone who causes harm.
Always defend and protect what’s rightfully yours.
No one loves you as much as you love yourself.
