The Fool’s Journey: Mapping My Internal Landscape Through Bladee’s Discography
“Perfection is just an illusion and a punishment of love” — Bladee
It’s been awhile.
To my friends, peers, and readers: I never planned to disappear for this long.
I haven’t written anything in almost a year. This absence stems from a multitude of reasons. Between you and me, It’s been a rough 365. I experienced the loss a parent, faced a brutal job market, and watched several long-term constants in my life come to an end.
Yet, funny enough, all of this hardship is oddly relevant to what I’m writing about today.
“Loss and Gain are the same.”
This is one of the foundational concepts of my favorite artist, Swedish rapper and Drain Gang member Bladee. At its core, the phrase boils down to negative and positive forces balance out. Every loss leads to a gain, and every gain requires a loss. Like so many of Bladee’s lyrics, it led to me ponder my own reality.
There are a lot of phrases and ideas in the Bladee lexicon. Fans like me analyze the meaning of reoccurring words, themes, phrases across his discography. Some of these include: “drain/drained”, “if it’s real then it bleeds”, “The night”, and many other concepts I’ll talk about here. One of the mass appeals of his work is the exact polarity: he makes us care about the abstract themes and spiritual philosophies just as much as we care about how the music sounds.
That is why I want to map out my own internal landscape using three specific eras of his discography: 333, The Fool, and Cold Visions. By shaping this blog post around some of the distinct themes of these albums and pulling apart specific lyrics, I want to compare the shifting mental state of Bladee’s mind to my own. Bladee’s journey is one where I can see parts of my own. Searching for spiritual peace, embracing the absurd, and the raw and heavy reality of the present.
Surfing Reality and Becoming the Hero of My Own Story
I wanted to start with my favorite Bladee project. There are lot of direction I could’ve gone with this, but I think it’s a great starting point for what I’m looking to explore. It’s an album that dives deep into spirituality, optimism, self acceptance, and the rejection of cynicism/nihilism. It signifies a pivot from Bladee’s past darker themes around topics like depression, consumerism, and drug abuse to embrace self-love and acceptance.
This album dropped right in the middle of a chaotic, pandemic-era world. It also came shortly after an interview where Bladee explains he was literally struck by lightning while visiting Thailand. In that same interview, Bladee explained that he creates a lot of his own terms, and they all hold some symbolic nature. This became a changing point for my interest in his work. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved his music, but that moment started to reflect on it in a more personal light. It was no longer just about the unique Stockholm-based sound he and his producers brought, or the auto-tuned vocal delivery. He was creating meeting in every single song for me. I saw a reflection of myself in his work. It was a paradigm shift.
Now everything Bladee has ever done holds meaning. Even the title of the album, 333, holds symbolic weight. In numerology, 333 represents angel numbers, A direct counter to the numbers 666, that are seen as the devil’s number in Christianity. There are many ways you can look at this depending on your perspective or how you want to interpret it. At times, it can feel that I am overanalyzing Bladee’s intentions, but I think that’s the beauty of art and part of the deeper connection I share with him. He’s a man who obviously pours a lot of his personal thoughts, hobbies philosophies, and esoteric interest into his music. He’s a nerd. He’s depressed. He’s inspired. He’s enlightened. They are complex layers to every part of him, some that maybe only he can truly understand.
Reality Surf
This complexity is exactly what turned the album into a lifeline for reflecting on my own collapsing reality. My favorite track “Reality Surf” is a perfect example of this.
In one verse of the song, Bladee raps very softly: “Build it just to watch it fall apart/ Looking for the arrow when you shoot/ You take yourself seriously, just stop, listen to your heart.”
Looking at lyrics standalone, they can easily feel like random words and abstract concepts thrown together. That’s just the type of artist Bladee is at times. The song is chock-full of analogies, symbolism, and ideas that you are forced to interpret on your own. His constant use of cryptic references and analogies make you slow down to draw connections and inferences. To me, many of the lines have metaphysical meaning or are direct references to the unpredictable nature of the world. They are also lyrics I can relate to my personal situation. “Build it just to watch it fall apart” for me mirrors the lost of long-term constants in my life. Meanwhile, the line “You take yourself seriously, just stop” can represent my realization that I can’t control everything, and trying to force control only hurts more.
Ultimately, it’s a song defined by the idea of changing your perspective. Bladee is trying to get me to not think so negatively. The title of the song and overarching theme of surfing reality are central to this. You can’t fight the waves of life, you can’t change what’s already been done. You can only ride on top of them, letting them guide you.
Hero Of My Story 3style3
The second important song to me on this album is “Hero Of My Story 3style3.” From the name alone, it highlights a deep desire to take control of one’s own narrative in life, something that has been an internal weakness of mine. In the past, and especially over this rough year, I have too often allowed myself be a victim of my own circumstances and to fall into a state of self-defeatism.
Bladee captures this exact state of mind when he raps: “Beating myself up, I’m with the violence / In a tunnel, vision, I see no way out.”
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That line summarizes my dissociation and dissatisfaction during some of the worst months of my life. When you are grieving and suffering the realities of a crashing job market all at once, your world feels like a dark tunnel with no exits. You become your own worst enemy, constantly beating yourself up about things you can’t fix.
But right alongside that darkness, Bladee sprinkles in hope. He reminds me, “There’s no winners or losers in this fight”. Looking back to the ideas of loss and gain, I am reminded that life isn’t a scoreboard where I am failing. It’s just a cycle I have to navigate.
When he finally hits the lines, “Wanna be the hero of my story… Wanna make up early in the morning,” the concept of being a “hero” shifts. It is no longer about doing something grand or sensational; sometimes, being the hero of your story just means finding the strength to wake up early in the morning, pulling yourself out the bed, and trying again.
Embracing The Fool & The Absurd
It’s very hard to explain what goes on in my head. Sometimes I feel like I’m reacting in a way that’s isn’t authentic to myself, simply because that’s how I’m expected to react. Other times, I feel the immense frustration of not able to communicate my thoughts in a way people can truly understand. I’ve always pride myself on being a pretty good communicator, but recently? I’ve had thoughts maybe I’m not as good as I thought. Am I crazy? Or is everyone else crazy? Am I wrong for being mad in the moment when my intentions are misunderstood? Or am I just being a foolish? Life is filled with absurdity and contradictions, and The Fool is one of those Bladee projects that confronts that head-on.
Continuing on his path to be more positive and enlightened, Bladee explores themes of spirituality, innocence, personal growth, and existentialism. The title of the album is a direct reference to the tarot card of the same name. The Fool card represents new beginnings, innocence, fresh starts, and a literal leap of faith. This album serves as another step towards replacing dark moods and lyricism of Bladee’s past to embrace a brighter, more positive worldview. Boasting a more upbeat and whimsical sound, Bladee lyrics also have a fun habit of diving into the absurd. The track “Hotel Breakfast” is a great example of this.
In a section of the song, Bladee raps: “I am King Nothing, I am nothing / Take a bunch of empty words and make them mean something”
The line about “King Nothing” is one of those phrases in the Bladee lexicon I was speaking about earlier that will come up again. It is most likely a reference to the song “King Nothing” by Metallica, which tells the story of a fool who claws to get fame and is ultimately left with nothing. Bladee relates to this, but he flips it, turning the concept into something of his own.
The very next line is Bladee openly admitting that some of his lyrics can be nonsensical. He has set a precedent for that throughout his discography, which is actually pretty insane when you stop to think about what Bladee’s occupation is. He’s a rapper. Rapping is art form devoted to using language and words meaningfully. By calling his own lyrics “empty words,” it feels like he is breaking the fourth wall. He is talking directly to his fans and telling them: It’s up to you to assign value to my words and art.
That exact realization applies to the real world in general, doesn’t it? There are a lot of hobbies, activities, and actions that many outsiders see as meaningless. At times you might even find your own words and actions pointless. That’s just how it is, especially in a highly consumerist and culturally online society. I think a lot of Bladee’s philosophy in his music reflect that struggle. It’s about finding meaning in the meaningless and the absurd. The world is truly what you make it.
The Warmth Fades: Cold Visions
This is the last section for the sake of some brevity. To enter this last phase, we have to skip ahead to three years after The Fool. Cold Visions is an album where the darkness of Bladee’s thoughts have returned. Themes of paranoia, anxiety, aging, and the mental toll of a decade-long career all set in for him. This project marks the emergence of a new phrase the “Cold Visions” and throwbacks to recurring motifs in his lexicon, such as mentions of “eating the night” and “the red light.”
Creeping toward his 30th birthday during the creation of this album, Bladee’s anxiety about aging bleeds through the music. It’s an incredibly relatable theme, as the pressure you feel not only from societal expectations, but internal thoughts can cause a quiet identity crisis. Mirroring this milestone, Bladee also constructs his longest project to date with a 30-track album. He also gives some of his more inspired vocal performances. In the song “Sad Meal”. Bladee agressively raps: “Loss and gain and I gained a lot of losses, like a hill covered in crosses”
With this line, we return to the iconic phrase that’s carried us this far. Bladee compares the sheer amount of his life’s losses to a graveyard on a hill. While the song title itself flips the idea of a McDonald’s Happy Meal. Bladee is too sad and emotionally fatigued to find any joy, he can only muster up enough energy to order a “sad meal” instead. How could I not relate? When your life feels like it’s spiraling out of control, it’s feels like a crushing amount of defeats. Only leaving you with the desperate hope is that a win are just right about the corner.
Another subject Bladee music always returns to is the emphasis and hypocritical nature of spending money on material things. Bladee knows this. The material world is often referred to as a “Trash Island” in the Bladee lexicon. He knows these items don’t truly give the self worth yet he can’t help indulge. In the song “Flexing and Finessing’ Bladee returns to a braggadocios nature in the face of self-doubt.
Bladee raps: “I’m still remembering the rise, since then, it’s been a big decline / How could these cowards take my kindness for a weakness? / I’m getting bored of all this stressing / Back to flexing and finessing”
In the face of adversity, sometimes we return to what we know best. I deeply relate to Bladee’s compulsion to spend money on things he wants but doesn’t need. Flexing material wealth can be a defense mechanism for the ego. When the world feels harsh, turning to consumerism is sometimes the only coping mechanism left. In another song called “False”, Bladee shows self-aware about glorifying this toxic, material mindset, rapping:
“In the night and I’m lost following an evil star / What’s the point of it all? / Question me, don’t question God / Going broke at the mall / Going swipe, I swipe my card”
This song explores themes of false gods, a loss of self, and destructive habits. These lines serve as a powerful reminder that while Bladee knows that their is higher purpose, he doesn’t always accept it. By telling the listener, “Question me, don’t question God”, he shows he self-awareness of his own flaws and contradictions. He knows he is straying, yet he continues to swipe his card.
Can’t End on A Loss
Through the discography of Bladee, I’m reminded that we are only human, navigating this life for the first and last time. His music is niche and certainly isn’t for everyone, but I appreciate what it does for my own psyche. He embraces every aspects of himself. No matter if it’s the high fashion, the deep depression, and the contradictions, and I find that immensely relatable. Music is an incredibly powerful form of self-expression, and just as Bladee uses it to scrub his inner chaos, he leaves space for us to do the exact same.
