Why Your Cousin Dan Is (Not) Your Best Criminal Defense Attorney Extraordinaire
I have seen way too many movies to know that things can go wrong downtown.
The cops show up, flash their badges and say in a low, husky tone, We gotta take you downtown.
Take me where now?!? Like it came out of left field! Forget left field, what field?!?
And hey look, I got your six, buttercup. Yeah, I know things can go wrong and sometimes you do things you ain’t particularly supposed to be doing. I hear you.
(As long as you are making right with the Lord, your folks, your community, and your pet kitty who needs all your love and attention, of course, we good. We good.)
Bless their hearts, honey. Oh, bless their hearts.
Back to business, now though. You need a criminal defense lawyer and you need one fast!
Defense Dan? He’s Your New Best Friend
It’s like I say and have always said (and let’s pretend for a bit that I am your pretend-mamma with the silver-haired bun and daisy apron baking her sweet potato pie just for you) … you can’t run and you sure can’t hide!
But if you’re going to face the music, go call your cousin Dan and get him to help you!
Cousin Dan is obviously the best criminal defense attorney this side of Texas and the wild west and he knows how to throw punches and eat steak with his opponents right after that too!
Which leads me to tell you this. Dan knows some people who know some people who happen to know some other people. He’s connected, you see. Of course he is. It’s Dan!
He’s friends with EVERYBODY! Even the prosecutors. So if anyone is going to help you get a good deal or help you win your case… it’s him, twinkle toes.
Because he’s done the work and has built the relationships needed to get a fair conversation with the prosecutors.
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And THAT is exactly the criminal defense attorney you need!
It’s Your Future And It’s Worth Fighting For!
Only you know what it’s like to live your life and be you. And only you will live out your life and existence the way it will be. After all, it’s your future!
And if there is ONE THING I know with all my heart is that there is redemption for our sins against others and against humanity (and I’ll be honest when I say I am tearing up as I write this).
You can turn things around and change your heart, but if you’re on the inside of a cell or on the other side of a judgment or sentencing that’s on your name possibly for all your living years to come… that’s not a good thing!
Clearly.
Don’t play with your future. Hire a good criminal defense attorney and let them help you because … innocent until proven guilty!
The Other Side Does Not Always Play Fair
Throwback to all those wonderful old movies where the judge is staring at the prosecutor over their round reading glasses and saying something along the lines of… you didn’t follow the proper procedure!
Your criminal defense attorney (not your Cousin Dan) has clearly been doing this for years! And he’ll know when things were not done correctly.
Their legal eagle eye will spot that one little fine hairline crack in their case that could possibly break it open for you.
You really need to hire your legal A-Team.
I know it would seem a bit obvious but sometimes we just need reminding, ay?
You’ll get the dedicated legal help you deserve.
And of course, you also get some delicious (vritual) sweet ol’ potato pie that your pretend-mamma baked especially just for you this afternoon!
Thank you for listening to me. You’re a sweetheart! Mwah! (from this silver-haired heart to yours!)
