The Decision You Can Live With When No One’s Watching

What and how will i live when everyone eventually goes home? When the noise is over? When the pressure to forgive is over ?

I will be back to regret for not standing on my words, going back to my normal situation, the cheating, the flirting with random girls on his phone , the constant disrespect , the shame of coming out to the gate while they label me a rebellious woman by leaving without understanding why I kept leaving.

When they locked me out to sleep outside in the hands of cold weather, his brother was there and he eventually supported it. The mother called the next day to clear him that it was under the influence of alcohol which wasn’t true. If she can do that, she will eventually cover him up when he kills me.

At the end of the day I ask myself again, what decision can I live with when everyone has gone home? Only me knows, and in as much as I loved that man, I don’t want to continue with him.

They think I don’t know the stigma that comes with being a divorcee? Criticism from a shallow minded men who finds their ego from controlling women, the gossips, to be labeled a rebellious woman or stubborn, to be stereotyped and manipulated to pray and fight for a man who doesn’t have his life figured out, I know these road, I know what it will looks like, I know there would…