Ted’s Cautionary Tale, Part 5
Fictionalized experiences: changing up life after a DUI.
So, yeah, I was wanting to get out more and talk my mind out of going to the bar for drinks. I’ve made some strides with that.
I went to a library event where a lady presented her book about experiencing life with cats and being an artist. My friends John and Carrie joined me. I had a pleasant time talking with people, including cute ladies. I smiled at the college-age girls but knew it was the silver-haired ones who were more my style.
I felt good about attending something, and I got a signed book.
Afterwards, we sat on John’s boat, had drinks and snacks, and chatted.
He stirred his Virgin Mary with the celery stick and then pointed it at me. “Ted, I’ve told you this before: you shouldn’t introduce yourself as ‘Shrimpy’.”
“I like my nickname! It’s on my license plate.” I pointed at my old Miata convertible which had faded from red to a weird pink.
“It’s derogatory, and you knew this in high school.”
“It’s like I’m a shrimp boat captain! And there is nothing wrong with being a smaller guy. You are… um, different in a big... um. Yes.”
“You are showing unusual restraint, thank you. Have you ever even gone fishing?”
“Nah, I don’t like watching animals die. But it’s okay if you like to fish. Frankly, I just like sitting on your boat at the dock.” I went into the galley and poured myself another mocktail. “Hey, this is not bad, I think it’s the olive brine that helps.”
Carrie was eating all the cheese and crackers. “Maybe we could go to the talk about slugs and salamanders they have next month? It’s nice to meet other people who like animals,” she said, while chewing.
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She’s a lesbian. And as lonely as I am. But Carrie and I are initially drawn to different things about women. She wants to get people talking in depth, and to find someone who has a gentle, intelligent nature and a great vocabulary. I’m simply fascinated by a pretty face and a curvy body, and hope someone’s as fun to hang out with as to look at.
That night as I drove home, cranky about the fact that my temporary driver’s license was only a piece of paper, I was appreciating the glow of the moon while endeavoring to think hopefully about my future. I couldn’t help stressing about everything I still had to deal with, involving a DUI, but I also was determined to take my mind off of that debacle by hanging out with friends and trying new things.
Do you ever realize that the advice you give others, you should be practicing yourself? That’s where I was at.
Well, I thought I had a meeting with the DMV the next morning. I’d jumped through all the hoops so far, and had waited three months for the opportunity to explain what had happened on that fateful day of my arrest.
I’d attended court, paying fines. Registered for DUI online classes for nine months with a $140 down payment and $70 a month. I don’t have an income? Nobody cares. I’ve been sober now for three months? Nobody cares.
I didn’t drink alcohol heavily in the first place: sending me through all of this is like sending a cat to a dog obedience school.
I tried to get the information to join the DMV Zoom meeting. I called and emailed all over the place. Turns out I was not allowed to join and speak for myself. (DUI Advocates might be a shady business: I do not recommend them, they knew very little about me and did not ask questions about what had transpired, and then they “represented me” in the DMV meeting.) Nobody has told me about the outcome. Do I get my driver’s license back?!?
So here’s the start of a list about how to get through tough times when you feel powerless. John has been a great help. He’s been to hell and back as a veteran. Carrie helps as a great writer. She has done a lot to put my frustrated, scattered thoughts into coherency.
- Find people who have been there and done that. Just listen, they don’t need feedback necessarily. It’s hard for most of us to express the dark times. Never press for clarity. Apply good advice from what they have learned, when it’s relevant to your own situations.
- What do you do? Sing, dance, hike, write, bake cookies, make things with your hands, go out into the sagebrush and scream? (My brother did that.) Find new things to be good at.
- Don’t be afraid to be seen as weird. Share with others the awkward times you felt weak, your proud triumphs over lousy circumstances, and the times you were afraid to be yourself, but it worked out, mostly.
- Your words can have value to someone you’ve never met. Maybe you find someone online who relates to your experience, or is curious, or startled, to see how their lives could have come out differently if they’d chosen your path.
- It’s okay to admit that we feel powerless sometimes. Life hits us hard. We reel from the impact.
- Just share.
Any readers who have something to add, please join in with your comments or recommendations.
To be continued.
