Ted’s Cautionary Tale, Part 4
Fictionalized experiences: changing up life after a DUI.
I was thinking about the difference between bad habits, and addictions.
The guy who looks forward to a beer or two after work on Friday: probably not an alcoholic. When he buys a case of it at Costco and hides it from his wife in his tool shed, slamming down plenty of them while claiming he’s “working on a project” late at night: could be an alcoholic.
It’s such a grey area. A craving that you can’t ignore without being strong-willed enough to resist? Or just an occasional indulgence? I fell into that grey pit. Knowing that my actions were not wise, but thinking, “I deserve a reward.” Or “Life is short, live it up awhile.”
“I really need this!” Or “Sounds nice, maybe.”
I felt like an everyday guy, when I was going out to the bar once in a while. But I realized I was overindulging when I bought the economy-sized bottles of crappy wine and was drinking them by myself while watching crappy TV until I passed out in my crappy sagging recliner.
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Restraint is boring. But feeling like a sad old man who is trying to perk himself up with alcohol is a shameful feeling, much worse.
“Go for a walk! Visit John!” I said to myself. “Go make something out of wood!”
I have a friend who is in rehab, he snorted powders. Glad I’ve never tried such things. He’s of a determined mindset by nature, however, so I think he can steer his brain in a sensible direction.
So, me, I’ve gotten into activities that stir up my own brain. Creating in my woodshop, socializing in person and online, sharing this story with my writer friend Carrie.
I know gambling addiction, having lived in Nevada. I know friends who hide pornography accounts from their partners. I know a chain-smoker who gave up cigarettes for the nicotine patch, but then started smoking again because his parents still did, and they seemed healthy in their eighties. But their full stories are not mine to tell. I just try to be sensible, not giving advice so much, but being a good listener.
I feel bad for the people who are addicted to eating too much and long to lose weight. Eating: that’s something you can’t quit cold turkey. But I’ve distracted myself from my bad habit that threatened to become an addiction.
Now if I could just stop buying five candy bars at the liquor store in substitution for the booze.
To be continued.
