I thought I was living three lives for months on end. One was my Master’s degree, the other was the classroom where I taught my students and the third was the stack of books I opened each night for competitive exams. Apparently, they were no kin at all on paper. In my mind they were a testament that I was out of it, not paying attention, that I was behind the ball, behind all the other people who seemed to be on top of it. Then one conversation with someone in my Amal Fellowship left me feeling demoralized and, in truth, a bit broken — until I pondered that narrative that I had been telling myself. There is one meeting in all of these sessions, learning group meetings, and project discussions that I was a part of in Batch 385 that has the biggest impact on me: my one-on-one meeting with my program manager. In that conversation, I learned something I never dreamed I could do: Even though I felt I was doing a lot of other things, all were quietly helping me achieve my primary objective. The words were said simply in writing, but when they came out of the mouth of someone who has witnessed me, I saw how those words had brought my own life into a different perspective. What made this incident so powerful was not only what she said, but what it had me look at regarding myself. I realized that I had been looking at my activity in isolation, and was feel bad about my activity because I thought I was doing it in a disjointed way when in fact I was laying a foundation. My teaching was helping me become better at communicating, my master was helping me become more knowledgeable, and my preparation for my exam was helping me become more disciplined — and all in the service of a greater good. As I continued to work on the project afterwards, the realization continued to develop in my mind much like peeling an onion: layer by layer, I saw more clearly what my strengths were, what my weaknesses were and what my real goals were. Well, looking back, the lollipop moment of our sessions that we learned to thank people for their smallest of acts had already put this idea in my mind. But it was my program manager’s words that had me putting it into practice with myself and just began to be grateful for myself, and my efforts rather than ignoring them. All of this came from the energy of people around me and their very existence. I’m not just sitting there getting advice from my program manager; I’m sitting there and I’m getting validated and I’m getting some encouragement that I don’t even have for myself that I was able to receive from my program manager. When my faith in God faltered, her faith remained strong, and that is what came through. The same type of energy manifested within my learning group. As we were getting ready to make the presentation no one knew how to present it, but we coordinated, encouraged each other and we won the “Best Presentation of the week”. This victory was more of a team effort, rather than a single player effort. I had experienced this and the course on positive thinking put a name to it — jaisa socho, waisa hota hai — what you think you become. I began to think favorably of myself, in a way, as I was surrounded by good-minded people. I would do things differently if I knew what I know now when I was there. I would not wait a one-on-one to express my concerns, I would raise more questions and act on the advice rather than letting it “go down the drain. I am always a person who reflects in silence, but on this journey, I have learned that reflecting through talking and acting more is the way to create change. I would have thanked and credited my program manager with just as much recognition at the time as I can now, stating the value of her words, rather than in the weeks afterwards. If I could do it again, I’d change the way I do things; I would not be so hesitant, so I am more proactive. The lessons of the conversation are that I work today. My communication, my networking skills, my interview skills, and my line of thinking has all been enhanced and they’re not all at odds with each other anymore. They are strands of fabric that are one. Now, the difficulties are still there, exams are still difficult, but some days are still hard and I know that I have to keep going if the difficulties come, because someone once showed me that my scattered efforts were not in fact scattered at all. Thank you to my program manager, thank you to my learning group and thank you to the Amal journey that helped me learn to reflect, to thank, and to continue.