Fading
Who am I?
Am I the struggles?
Am I the deep cutting rejection?
Am I the worthlessness that claws at my chest at midnight?
Who am I when what I do is nothing to talk about?
Cook, clean, work, study, repeat
Listening to praise being spoken over someone not in the room
Always the last.
Noticed
Seen
Admired
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Loved.
Cry alone in bed, accept the pain and get high because of it
Self-destructive
Relapse.
Am I the things I do to myself?
Am I the loneliness that only a medication can numb?
Am I the medication?
I might be all the things wrong with me but is there really not a single shred of goodness?
The overwhelming tired followed by a relapse
How is that the only peace I feel?
First to be called when something needs to be done.
Last to be thanked.
First to be criticised
Fading…
