Five months ago, I wrote about preparing to walk across the stage to receive my associate’s degree. Well, I did it. I walked across that stage, I graduated, and I received my degree.
But something surprised me.
I didn’t feel the way I thought I would feel.
For so long, I imagined that moment would give me this euphoric feeling — like I had finally made it and everything I had gone through had led up to this huge emotional moment. Instead, I was there, I was present, and I knew what I had accomplished, but emotionally, I didn’t really feel much of anything.
That made me wonder why.
Of course, earning my degree was something I genuinely wanted for myself, my career, and my future. But looking back, I also wonder if part of me expected that degree to give me some type of validation. Maybe I thought walking across that stage would make me feel different about myself or prove something to me.
And when that feeling didn’t come, there was almost an emptiness where I expected excitement to be.
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Another part of it may be that earning my associate’s degree took me much longer than I originally expected. I didn’t complete it within two years. There were breaks, setbacks, and life happening in between. By the time I finally reached the finish line, maybe I had already experienced so much of the emotional journey that graduation itself felt more like completing something I knew I needed to finish than this huge life-changing moment.
But five months later, I’m still moving forward.
I am now working toward my bachelor’s degree.
This time, I’m approaching things differently. I’m taking school one day at a time and one step at a time, but I also have a goal of completing my bachelor’s degree within the two-year time frame. I don’t plan on taking breaks. I plan on continuing straight through and seeing this journey to the end.
Maybe the lesson for me is that every accomplishment does not have to come with fireworks.
Sometimes growth looks like finishing one chapter, quietly turning the page, and continuing on to the next one.
Receiving my associate’s degree may not have given me the feeling I expected, but it did give me something else: proof that I can finish what I started.
And now, I’m doing it again.
