Emotionally Awakened by The Art of Loving
If I see one more Olivia Dean edit online I might actually be convinced that love is still worth seeking…
Watching her cry while performing Let Alone The One You Love had me clutching my phone, thinking about someone I considered a friend, who is no longer in my life. Someone who decided to invest in a relationship with someone else (…)
“I’m feeling quite emotional, honestly” she said before giving the most relatable performance. Any woman that’s been betrayed felt that.
“How could you do that to a friend? Let alone the one you love?”
The thoughts and feelings I had today about Olivia Dean were not about my heartbreak. Though, I did turn on Zane Lowe’s Apple Music interview with her while I was cooking dinner BECAUSE I am heartbroken. Olivia is chicken soup for the soul.
P.S — If you have a soul, and/ or a heart for that matter, and you want to feel something. Just go watch that. I don’t even care if you finish reading my silly little thought vomit — just go watch/listen to that episode AND watch Olivia perform Let Alone The One You Love in Boston.
Anyways;
Olivia talks about her album The Art of Loving and how it was inspired by an exhibit, inspired by Bell Hooks’ All about Love. She talks about what that means and how she needed to explore her understanding of love in order to close a chapter in her life, and how she hopes that this album is something people can come back to.
The album came out last year, and I loved it then, but fuck am I grateful to be experiencing Olivia Dean’s art of loving in my time of letting go. How grateful I am for the instagram reposts of her shows and being able to go back and listen to her words and fall in love with them all over again in a new (and maybe more devastating) way.
There comes a point in the interview where Zane asks how she feels now that there are thousands of people who know exactly what she was thinking on the day you wrote _ …
She said something that blew my mind (and gained her a bomb audio effect from Zane -iykyk). She said,
“It’s Powerful. Sometimes I’m like, ‘why am I drawn to that feeling of being intensely vulnerable with people?’ but it’s the best thing in the world — it makes me feel like a human.”
It had me thinking about my relationship with social media, and how I express myself on it I guess...
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When I was in high school in the 2010s, I loved twitter. I loved being able to share a thought bubble, and reading others, hoping the have the same kinds of thoughts too. Now I like sharing thoughts on Instagram stories, some silly, some curious…but it’s 2026, the days of true twitter are over and I’m almost 30. Some days I post something and I’m like…’was that cringe?’ (though-honestly I’m releasing myself of giving a shit BECAUSE I’m almost 30). But why do I feel the need to share the thought? Or why do I have the desire to share the thought?
Today I realized…it’s because it makes me feel like a human…
I’ve always sought out humanity. Anywhere I could, I was greedy to feel that feeling that we are all experiencing the gut-wrenching feeling of living and breathing on this beautiful floating rock that threatens to emotionally, mentally, and physically kill us everyday. But I don’t think I realized that my addiction to scrolling and sharing is my deep desire to feel human, to “be” with others...
It’s ironic, in the world of AI and people posting highlight reels and their biggest accomplishments, but at the end of the day we are all seeking connection and relatability. I think we crave vulnerability, even if we are too afraid to share it. That’s what the performance of Let Alone The One You Love was for me…
When someone in your life prioritizes someone else-or leaves you for someone else, no matter how complicated your relationship was, you start to imagine all the ways that person is better than you. All your insecurities are suddenly their biggest strengths, and you start to fear seeing them happy without you, and with thee someone else.
Like your mind, social media becomes a field of landmines. You’re forced to remove yourself in any way that makes you feel triggered. You put up these digital boundaries to protect yourself from ruining your fucking day…
But if you’re like me though, in a lot of ways social media also becomes a haven of people who feel the exact same way. Part of my heartbreak is that I am alone. I’m in a city that I’ve always wanted to live in, and love, but it also feels like being stranded on mars — far away from your best friends, and the people in your life that know me best. People that have emotionally invested in me, and I them.
So sometimes videos of Olivia Dean being vulnerable and human feel like a hug from your best friends. Sometimes scrolling on Instagram (just a little) will remind you that humanity isn’t dead and that there are other beautiful people, singing about stupid boys who hurt their feelings too.
And suddenly you feel human again… and suddenly you think maybe loving isn’t so bad, and that it can be beautiful again, someday.
But today you love yourself, and you thank Olivia, and you continue to experience joy and you remind yourself that there are so many different loves in your life worth remaining vulnerable for.
And in truth, I believe that the truth of loving is that, if you ever loved someone, you’ll always love them, because once you really know someone…you can’t hate them, even if you really fucking tried…
The art of loving is; thanking whatever brought it in the first place, wishing it well, and loving yourself even more because of it.
LOVE
