Member-only story
You and the Narcissist Experience Reality Differently
It’s like you speak different languages, and neither one of you is fluent in the other’s language.
When you and the narcissist speak, you assume he is understanding you and you are understanding him. You respond to the narcissist as if he speaks your language, and his communication is valid. However, he’s not even on the same plane as you.
It’s kind of like you both speak a different language. He knows a few phrases in your language, so you go on as if he speaks your language fluently, and vice versa. But, there’s a big difference in what the words mean.
You’ve spent your entire relationship speaking with a language built around mutual respect, honesty, empathy, and compromise. When you bring up something hurtful, you’re expecting understanding, and hopefully an apology.
But a narcissistic partner hears “You’re accusing me of being a bad person and I need to defend myself. I must win this argument.”
Here are some other differences in understanding:
