after losing a friend -a fear
I was losing one of a friend of mine -one of the brightest soul I’ve ever known. After months, I'm no longer crying for him, my life continues to run. The world rotates normally, just the way it was before he’s gone. I still think of him in the street that once we went to, on the places that always feel belong to him. I still think of him whenever I work on something we used to work together, I'm no longer crying. Now it feels like he is still here, in some corner that is hard to see -the way he used to be.
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I think at least here in my writing, I want everyone to have a picture of him; he is a kind, soft, and friendly soul who can blend into every group. He is full of laughter, helpful, but he never crosses the line. No matter how hard he’s been working, he never seeks attention or validation -yet he still gets it effortlessly. Everyone around him has a good memory of him.
Well, this is my first experience of losing a friend. It breaks my heart; it's always been sad to think about him. But now that I'm much more learned to deal with the truth, my sadness has turned into fear -fear of losing him one more time. Fear of losing him from my memories, fear of losing his face from my head, fear of forgetting his voice and the way he walked. I hope to still find you at least in my memories now that I can find you nowhere in this world. I hope your rest is full of happiness, I hope you belong to the brightest light. It was great to have you as a friend.
-sh
