From down to up
Today feels significant in some way I can’t quite put my finger on. Yes it’s a new month yet it’s more than that. Much more.
An opening. Like a door that was previously locked has been cracked ajar. An entryway into a new realm of possibilities that wasn’t there before. Maybe you can feel it too. Strangely familiar yet unknown too.
Today after a healthy start of drumming and coffee I am feeling the shift in me. A return to the age old frustration which is my indication that something is out of line. That somewhere in me I am out of alignment.
Right now I am not sure what or where that is. And so I will sit and allow it to be. Not needing to push it aside or bury it. Simply allowing it to be allows it to soften and be a little easier to breathe. Ah yes — the power of the breath. Returning to the breath. To support me. To re-member to support myself with the most precious of tools that I already contain — the power to breathe that is contained within.
To draw pure positive energy into my being. Not simply oxygen, although that is good too. Consciously expelling old stories, negativity and CO2 too. Drawing in the prana, the life force, the chi, the ki. The real stuff that excites me and lifts me up from the inside when I imbibe it consciously.
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It’s always happening anyway. Yet when I focus — choose to focus — my attention here, in this way, I re-member my power. My point of power and how I can choose over and over again to support me.
Even in those moments. Those times when I feel bleak. That the dark is all pervading and I am finding it hard to find light. It is always there. Within. And here I am re-minding myself through writing about this. The power of journalling.
Drawing the experience to me effortlessly through this conscious awareness. Through the conscious awareness that is always there — here there and everywhere, yet somehow seems to contract within me as I choose to spiral down.
Down into the depths of my being. Not a bad thing in and of itself. What is unhelpful is staying there. Choosing to stay there. I am not talking here about denying. Denying the Self. Or the emotions. Or not valuing my feelings.
There is a difference between honouring and wallowing.
And right now through simply noticing I have honoured. I have paid my respects and now I am choosing something else. This is the power of the age old adage ‘know thyself’. To recognise what is going on. To know that I have a choice. And to exercise that choice. Again and again and again. That is the practice. Until it becomes so practised that that is the new new. The new normal. That effortlessly flows. The place where I go when previously I would have spiralled down.
And I am noticing, each time I practice, that I am lingering less. Not needing to descend like I once did. And recognising my point of power, that was here all along, to keep on choosing through the art of allowing. Through the dropping of all resistance and through my wise ally and friend — Surrender
Blessèd Be.
