The Art of Changing the Subject
If you have been following politics in recent years, you would definitely have found yourself wondering, “What was the question, and what on earth is he talking about?”
Well, the person answering isn’t necessarily stupid (although not particularly smart either, perhaps).
Sometimes, when confronted with a question that could be answered objectively, but where an honest answer might backfire, the easiest way out is to change the direction of the conversation to something that favours their position.
Imagine a reporter asking a minister:
“Ma’am, you promised that this project would be delivered by 2025. We are almost in 2027, and not even the first phase has been completed. Why?”
And the minister begins:
“The ministers from the other party…” or “During the previous government’s term…”
Now you know what game has just started!
But this doesn’t happen only in politics. It happens in our everyday lives too, particularly with our loved ones.
Imagine you’re on a date, and one of you arrives late.
The other person asks a simple question:
“Why are you so late?”
And instead of explaining the reason, the response is:
“Well, you’ve been late so many times yourself! Have I ever questioned you about it?”
Now, whatever was said might be factually correct. Perhaps the other person has been late many times before.
But did that answer the original question?
There could be several reasons for being late. Traffic, an unplanned meeting, or perhaps the person simply doesn’t want to explain.
Yet, instead of answering, the conversation has shifted to the other person’s past behaviour.
A classic Red Herring.
And the funny thing is, it works!
The trick just works!
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Why?
Because a red herring can appeal to our emotions. Instead of focusing on the original question, the person receiving the response may begin to feel guilty or defensive.
The discussion then moves away from why someone was late and towards whether the other person has any right to complain about lateness.
And before you know it, both people are caught in another discussion, perhaps even an argument, while the original question has been completely forgotten.
What a vicious cycle!
Why Do We Fall for the Distraction?
Let’s go back to our dating scenario.
Perhaps you’ve been looking forward to this date for quite some time. You’ve planned everything well in advance and naturally expect your efforts to be appreciated, perhaps even loved.
But then you arrive late.
And instead of being greeted with appreciation, you’re confronted with a rather silly (but perfectly reasonable) question:
“Why are you so late?”
Now, that might just be the tipping point.
Your expectations have already been shattered, and instead of answering the question, you become defensive and take an unnecessary shot at the other person.
“You’ve been late so many times yourself. Have I ever questioned you?”
Of course, you’ve now said what you wanted to say. And perhaps you even add a little puppy face to the whole performance.
That might make the other person rethink their perfectly reasonable question. They might even start wondering, “Why did I ask in the first place?”
(I am not teaching you anything here. These are definitely not my personal notes. It has never worked on me, nor have I used it many times. Or have I?)
But what happens next?
Now both of you are trying to move away from an uncomfortable situation. Perhaps neither wants to continue the argument, so you make some space for each other and move on.
And somewhere in that process, the original question gets forgotten.
Or perhaps it isn’t forgotten at all. You simply don’t want to bring it up again.
Either way, the question remains unanswered.
So, the next time a simple, objective question leads you into a completely different discussion, congratulations! You might have stumbled into a Red Herring without even realising it. And now that you know how it works, you will probably recognise it the next time.
Or better yet, you might even be tempted to use it yourself.
Won’t you?
