What Tim Ferriss Taught Me About Fear
I’ve had bad dreams about coming back to school and failing exams.
I don’t know why, but in the last few months, I’ve had dreams of coming back to high school. It happened several times. Somehow, those dreams had a recurring theme: me failing exams.
You know, dreams like these, they’re terrifying. Even after I woke up, the fear that I’m failing school felt real, albeit only for a while.
I graduated from high school 22 years ago. I was an ‘okay’ graduate. Then I was lucky enough to enter one of the best universities here in my country.
Tim Ferriss, in his 2017 TED Talk mentioned why we should define our fears instead of our goals. Fear-setting instead of goal-setting.
So we should define the fear, in details, so that we can decide what actions to take to stop that fear from happening.
I can strongly say that, subconsciously, that was how I felt during the last year of high school.
I remember, I feared failing the exams, so I studied hard. That year was filled with study, both during school hours in the classroom and after school hours in additional lessons that I took outside of school. Then I studied again at home or at my friend’s house.
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My decision to study hard did not come from the goal of entering a reputable university. Yes, it was a goal, but I realized I was not that smart in school. There was a 50% chance I wouldn’t have reached that goal.
My decision and dedication came from the fear of failing the entrance exam. The fear that I had to enter a private university that would have cost my parents more money, and the fear of embarrassment. Not only from other people, but also from myself.
My dad had already retired from his job 6 years before, and so I had to save money. I didn’t even care what I was studying, whether they would be useful for my future, whether I would truly apply the knowledge in my life, etc.
I just knew that I had to make this happen, and I was very grateful that I succeeded.
Now, with those dreams of failing exams keep coming back, I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
I just turned 40 this year. During the last few years, I’ve been trying a few different informal business ventures. It is so far satisfying, but the progress is rather slow.
I think I need to define another fear of failure in this new phase of my life.
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