WHO TOLD YOU YOUR WEDDING NEEDED 500 GUESTS?

You want a wedding. Mom wants an audience. Dad wants to settle debts. You’re the one paying.

One thing I have noticed about weddings, especially Nigerian weddings is the guest count. I have coordinated several of them to see how the guest count would affect the quality of the wedding. When the guest count is in the hands of people other than the couple, the parents would invite any one they deem fit, like they were bringing animals to the ark.

This aunty needs to be there, this uncle needs to be there. You wanted one hundred people, suddenly the guest count has gone out of hand, because your parents have handed you a guest list and guilt. Weddings involve finance, a whole lot of it, especially if the vision is greater than a Pinterest board. The venue is one that you had dreamed of since you were a kid, the vendors were a magical group of people you pulled into a team to bring the vision to board. The guest list is supposed to be simple, the bride’s favorite people and the groom’s favorite people. Everything is perfect until the parents are involved.

“Who is inviting hundred guests? You?” Mom asks and gives a sarcastic laugh. Dad hereby announced that the people he plays golf with would have their own table, the members of the board, the deacons in church, while mom has added people in her prayer group, the members…