When The Spark Goes Out
On navigating burnout and learning to pause without guilt.
There are days when it feels like the spark has completely gone out.
Have you been there too?
Your mind keeps running restlessly until it almost feels like a blackout. Your body feels entirely worn out like it’s tired of everything and everyone, basically all the time. When you are passing your days in a state of nothingness. Moving through a loop of the same events and scenarios.
Wondering, if you are emotionally drained or just burnt out.
You know that time when we need a monumental amount of work just to move or start doing something new. There is a strange feeling of friction present in everything you want to try or even in the same routine work.
What makes this exhaustion so deeply confusing is the memory of who you used to be or how you used to work.
I am naturally someone who loves trying new things or trying out different hobbies. I was someone who was always seeking out for exciting experiences, pursuing her passions, and engaging with different works at different hours of the day.
But lately, I no longer feel that natural curiosity in my bones. The drive for something amazing has suddenly faded into this nothingness. Where even the slightest amount of flame is missing.
Now, I no longer want to do a lot, yet I also feel the pressure that I should be doing more. Because I always feel like I am not doing enough. But again that doubt is also not helping in current situation.
There is no longer any motivation to move forward or even to just walk. It feels like I have lost my path, or perhaps, I have changed into a new version of myself that I don’t quite understand yet.
Or maybe in the past, I tried to do so much, I have put too much efforts in certain things that didn’t work out for me. And maybe that feeling of me keep losing my own battles is the root of the exhaustion that I am going through.
Maybe the hardest part is trying to find that fire to burn again.
What I can deeply understand now is that sometimes, all we need to do is pause, reflect, and shift the gears.
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I truly believe that if you’re feeling like you’re stuck, just take a step back. It’s all right. Your passion is still there. Your dreams are still waiting for you and will be there for you, or you need to find a new passion again that’s all right .
Sometimes we need to get out of what we used to be or how we used to be, by changing the environment and also changing the self.
The routines, the sets of fixed things that you usually do every day, the thoughts that form every minute of your days need a space to get quiet.
That chaos isn’t giving you anything rather it’s taking much more of your energy.
We all deserve a break to just explore, to find something for your own self, not for some deadline to meet or some meeting to ace.
But for the person you wished to be.
Start whenever your mind wants, even if all you want is to rest. Just rest, your body knows better. It knows how to heal. So, Heal your own self first.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading.
~ Raima.
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