Dispatches from Radford men’s basketball game
I did something today I haven’t done in a while — went to a game as a fan. But as anybody that’s been to a game with me knows, I can’t sit back and just watch a game. I end up finding something to do. After seven years of getting paid to go to games, it’s become a habit. Like eating three slices of nuked, pepperoni pizza and two red-dyed hot dogs from the concession stand. Therefore, it only made sense I had to jot down a few random thoughts while watching Radford men’s hoops play …
I did something today I haven’t done in a while — went to a game as a fan. But as anybody that’s been to a game with me knows, I can’t sit back and just watch a game. I end up finding something to do. After seven years of getting paid to go to games, it’s become a habit. Like eating three slices of nuked, pepperoni pizza and two red-dyed hot dogs from the concession stand. Therefore, it only made sense I had to jot down a few random thoughts while watching Radford University men’s basketball team beat USC Upstate, 64–61, on a buzzer-beating 3-pointer in Big South play.
So, without further ado, here are my random doodling’s from today’s game.
An advertisement reading “Shentel, fast reliable, internet,” just scrolled across the LED screen at the scorer’s table. Humph. Anybody that’s lived in Radford and has had to deal with Shentel knows their claim is an oxymoron as classic as jumbo shrimp.
Now that I think about it, saying Lin’s House — Radford’s best Chinese joint — in an exaggerated Chinese accent was racist. But, it was the mid-2000s. Still, mea culpa, though.
Radford had a men’s basketball coach named Mike Jones my senior year. I worked the entertainment, not sports beat for the school paper, so I didn’t have a column but if I did, you all know there would’ve been a ton of references to Mike Jones, the rapper. Examples would’ve included, “Still tippin’ off the glass and boards” when the Highlanders won on a tip-in. And “he’s Mike Jones don’t act like you don’t know his name” when Radford edged out Liberty University for the 2018 Big South Tournament Championship and a bid in the NCAA Tournament.
Speaking of NCAA Tournament, I was a freshman when Raddy made it to the first round of the 2008 tourney where it faced eventual national champion North Carolina. A game in which the broadcaster seemed genuinely surprised that UNC was beating the snot out of Radford. Betting on the Tarheels to lose that game would’ve been as dumb as the Chiefs not giving their field painter a Snickers bar when he’s visibly hungry and expecting him not to screw up. C’mon, Andy Reid, I know you have a Snickers bar in there.
Another ad flashes across the scorer’s table for Copper Beech Apartments, the last place I lived in Radford. That was an interesting time. Had the messiest roommate I’ve ever had yet was afraid of something as simple as a garden spider. Also, took two months of the utility checks I wrote him and used them for trips to Baltimore and jerseys. Now that I think about it, he still owes me two dollars.
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Still coolest moment of my career was covering Averett University’s scrimmage against Radford last year. My mom got her two-year degree from Averett before going to Radford while I got my bachelor’s degree from Radford and master’s from Averett. And I once went on a fishing trip with Tom Skerrit and Tom Selleck.
Did a bunch of Nobel Peace prize-winning physicists and kinesiologists invent the alley-oop dunk? Think about how many hours went into that.
Used to hate media timeouts, especially when watching on TV but I love them now that I’m a journalist. There’s a reason we have to sign a waiver to sit at the table and it’s not because you might get knocked out by an errant pass, even though I’ve seen it happen a million times, but because of the whiplash. Some neck doctor — can I still call them that? — is going to love me when my whiplash starts kicking in.
Radford making it rain from 3-point range. C’mon guys. It’s already low 20s and windy. Now you bring rain. Nine-point lead for RU after Chandler Turner’s 3-pointer with 11:26 on the clock. By the way, refs and meteorologists are the only people who can be wrong on a regular basis and keep their jobs. Well, politicians too.
Visit Pulaski County, home of Dublin, Virginia. The fastest growing town in the country. It keeps doublin’ every day.
And now for the longest stretch in all of sports. The final minute or so of a close basketball game. RU leads 59–58 after physics are kind to Upstate on Jalen Breazeale’s 3-ball with 54 seconds. Always remember, it’s better to rain than be rained upon, Highlanders.
Kenyon Giles might have just delivered the dagger for RU with what could be the game-winning trey. Upstate counters with bucket, draws foul. Game is shaping up to be closer than the 2000 Presidential election in Florida. Still can’t believe Al Gore blew to it to some guy who waved at Stevie Wonder. RU leads 62–60 with 10.1 seconds left.
Trend that has to stop. Yelling rebound on the first of two foul shots. If they go for the rebound, our guys will get called for lane violation. C’mon now. That rule is so easy even a Caveman could understand it. Yes, I’m bringing that back. Upstate knots the score at 61–61. Full timeout for Radford. It has now taken three minutes to play a tenth of a second.
The words of Danny Glover run through mind, “I’m getting too old for this shit” as it seems the Highlanders are on the verge of blowing a double-digit lead. Also has me asking, “Why do I care so much?” “Why is it so important to me?” “Would the invisible man be embarrassed if he knew we could see his wet footprints?”
Daquan Smith knocks down game-winning 3-pointer at the buzzer. Kid is colder than 2 Chainz’s at this week’s Iowa Caucus.
