Positivity Isn’t Pretending: The Mindset Work That Actually Moves You

Let’s Be Honest About “Good Vibes Only” And Why It Is Complete B.S.

If you’ve ever been told to “just think positive” in the middle of the worst week of your year, you know the urge to throw your coffee at someone.

It is truly, truly fair. When you truly think about it, being told to “think positive” or to “breathe” when anxious is pretentious; it insinuates that there is a magic solution to changing one’s mindset, and it deserves the eye-roll it often receives.

There is, however, a twist that most people miss: the answer isn’t to completely abandon positivity, but rather, it’s to simply stop faking it.

Real positivity isn’t a smile you paste over a bad day. It’s a trained skill, built the same way you’d build strength or a language. It takes reps, it takes honesty, and it works a lot better than denial ever will. More importantly, it teaches heart, and God knows we all need miles and miles of heart…

Toxic Positivity Is Just Avoidance in a Nicer Outfit

Grief expert David Kessler describes toxic positivity as positivity given in the wrong way, in the wrong dose, at the wrong time. If you want to hear the lynchpins of it: “Everything happens for a reason.” “Look on the bright side.” “It could be worse.” Technically true, emotionally useless.