Motherhood Unplugged: Finding Yourself Again
Rediscovering Identity Beyond Motherhood’s Demands
Out on the streets, everything was hushed in the early morning hour, but within the busy small house, there was nothing but madness. The sound of breakfast was a symphony of clinking plates, little toes pattering across the kitchen floor, and the squealing laughter of children coming to life for another day.
This was my life for years the madness of responsibilities and obligations often burying the possibility of being me somewhere deep. As a mother and good mother, provided everything to raise my children properly, but became lost.
The realization of what I had done to myself hit me one busy morning when I caught a short glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror. A woman had got to her feet her eyes weary, her hair thrown back in a bun that carried the weight of yesterday, the remainder of its debris clinging to a sleep-shirt.
Not someone I found familiar. I had exchanged my passions and dreams for the everyday rituals of motherhood, and though I loved my children fiercely, I was a hollow shell of my former self. It was the first step in the long, tiresome journey back to my true self, buried beneath the weight of motherhood.
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Next, I realized it was time to take a break from the 24/7 fire of parenting. I started creating space for myself, little pockets of time, that were just mine. So I signed up for pottery, a hobby I had loved until I had kids. Feeling the clay between my fingers sparked some creativity in me. Every item I formed on the wheel held a piece of my story flawed and stunning, an emblem of life.
While I started following my newly discovered passions, I also searched for other women who were feeling lost, like me. I had a small group of mothers that met at my house, we would share stories and had our different challenges. They served as a refuge for us where we were able to share and so much more.
We laughed, cried, and lifted each other in reaching for our dreams, however little. It was through these connections that I found out I was not alone in my journey, many other mothers dealt with these similar feelings of loss and longings.
I slowly started re-forming my life. I started writing, jotting down my ideas and experiences in a journal that soon became a blog. The clarity that came with sharing my story led to others getting in touch with me, relaying how my story resonated with them, and reminding me that I am not alone on this journey. Every post was a stepping-stone to healing and discovering the parts of me I had lost, that sassy, vibrant, beautiful woman still alive, just waiting to emerge again.
During this journey of rediscovering myself, I realized the balance of it all. While there would be no question that motherhood would be a meaningful part of my life, it did not have to be my only role. I could be a woman if I wanted, a woman with dreams and desires, and still be a good mother. But my journey of nurturing myself also meant taking care of my family, and so my children began to grow but so did I.
With this new outlook, I felt alive again, felt more purposeful. I discovered that becoming a mother was not an end goal, but a process; a process that had room for growth and evolution. My children were no longer eclipsed by my laughter; they harmonized with their laughter. I was a mum, okay, but I was also a creative, writer and a woman who wanted to rediscover- to reclaim- her own identity.
And that’s really where the whole “Motherhood Unplugged” concept morphed out of ultimately it became more than just a phrase, it became a mantra. It reminded me that the demands of parenting are many, but so are the demands of staying connected to our souls. It left me finding myself again, remembering that I am not only a mother but a whole being; someone that deserves to be loved, to dream, and to be fulfilled. It was a long way to go but I was beginning to find the place where the two worlds blurred; the point at which I could hold both the motherhood and the self where I could flourish and reside as both.
