Well shut my mouth

What Non-MAGA Southerners and Westerners Say About Trump, as Told By a Progressive Who Grew Up Texas

Trump is all hat and no cattle

Photo by Sid Doby on Unsplash

Stop pissin’ on my leg and telling me it’s raining. That dog won’t hunt. It won’t even sniff. You’re all hat and no cattle, but since you’re nothin’ but a rustler, if you wanted some you’d just go to Argentina or Brazil and rustle some up. Oh wait, you did.

That ole’ boy always misses a good chance to shut up. He’d argue with a rattlin’ fence post and swear he won, and the fence post cheated.

Pert soon, I’ll swan, the other leaders of the world are gonna tell him if he can’t run with the big dogs, don’t get off the porch. He thinks he’s the big dog, but them foreigners are gangin’ up and learnin’ not to approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.

That’ll go all over him like hot grease, and he’ll fly off the handle. He’ll get a burr in his saddle and start shoutin’ “TARIFFS” like nobody’s business. Oh wait, he already does that foolishness.

Before any of those good ole foreign head boys and girls can tell him anything, they’re gonna have to stop being so yellow bellied. They should all be like Canada and puff up like an old…