Instincts
Women: You Have the Quiet Power of Intuition — Are You Nurturing It Right?
How attraction, instinct, values, and awareness shape a woman’s ability to navigate relationships with men
When a man and a woman interact, some form of sexual attraction usually exists in the background, which is often highly conditioned by moral boundaries and social norms.
In such interactions, the ability to sense the hidden motive is strong in some people. In others, it could be much weaker. In some people, the motive might be obviously visible, if they keep their eyes and ears open. In others, it might be carefully concealed or camouflaged — not outwardly apparent.
Depending on the degree of attraction and the motive, a relationship between a man and a woman who are not related to each other may take several forms — a brotherly / sisterly relationship, a casual friendship, a strong friendship, a crush, gentle love, passionate love, or lust. It may also exist with some strong pretences and censorship — like a feeling of love camouflaged and treated as a friendship with a hidden motive.
How a person presents himself to the opposite sex can be explained through the metaphor of clothing:
- Friendship is like a full-body covering dress.
- Love is like clothing that is partly covered (modesty) and partly revealing (desire).
- Lust disguised as love is like a swimsuit.
- And pure lust is the absence of even the swimsuit!
How exactly does a woman interact with a man who tries to move with her? How is she going to react to him and grasp his true motives?
Most women are gifted by nature with strong “antennas” to sense it. Of course there are also women who are not all that gifted. And there are indeed many women, who, despite receiving their signals through their instincts, tend to ignore them or undervalue them.
Why? Because women too have their own selfish motives or self-centred agendas in handling that new relationship. They too have their own degrees of attraction towards the other person — varying between friendship, love or lust. Women are far smarter at keeping them hidden.
I strongly believe that to such women whose moral principles are well defined, who give the highest value to their chastity and have the will to protect it beyond selfish desires and weaknesses, God grants them very strong instincts.
When interacting with a man, if their antennas trigger an alarm bell, they pay attention to it. They bring out their defensive guards.
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Does it sound too theoretical? Let me give you some real-life examples.
This happened some forty years ago. It happened in a city in South India. India has traditionally been conservative regarding interactions between men and women, and social norms were much stricter in those days.
On the outskirts of a large city, there was a major industrial complex. Nearby, within walking distance, was a residential colony. A friend and colleague of mine rented a house there, after his marriage was arranged. Until the wedding took place (which had been scheduled to take place within a couple of months), he lived there alone.
The woman he was going to marry was a final year medical student. They had studied together since the seventh grade and had been in love right from that young age. Inter-caste marriages and love marriages were frowned upon by parents in those days. My friend belonged to a higher caste and she to a lower one. However, as both families were well-educated and the parents held high-ranking government positions, they agreed to the marriage, without too much objection. Once my friend got his job in the company, both families decided to proceed with the marriage, not waiting for the girl to complete her medical degree.
At that time, he worked as an engineer in the second shift (2 PM to 10 PM). A senior colleague in our factory, who worked in the general shift (8 AM to 5 PM) approached my friend and asked, “Can I use your house for a couple of hours in the evening? Will you give me the key?” Since he was a friendly person and a trusted colleague, my friend agreed. He did not ask why he needed the house.
Only later, we found out why.
That colleague had a girlfriend. He would bring her to the house in the evenings on his bike to spend private time with her.
Suspecting something fishy, we inquired him one day casually, “Nothing inappropriate is happening, right?”
He replied, “Don’t worry! We’re having some little fun. ‘That one thing’ doesn’t happen, but everything else does. Don’t worry much about it!”
One day, when I was alone with my friend (the one about to get married), I teased him: “You’re giving him your house, and he is having fun. Why don’t you bring your own girlfriend there and enjoy some private time together?”
He replied, “I can’t even imagine doing it in my dreams! Even if I foolishly suggested it, my girlfriend would tear me apart. Nothing of that sort is possible before marriage!”
After two months, my friend’s wedding took place successfully.
Six months later, the senior colleague also got married — not to his girlfriend! He married a different girl, in an arranged marriage. When we asked him about his previous affair, he casually said, “Ah, we broke up,” without much concern.
Now, reflect on these two love stories alongside my earlier ‘theory.’ You will understand.
My eldest sister once said: “The moment I see a man — by his appearance, speech, gaze, and smile — I can tell whether he is decent or a rogue.”
I am sure many women who are endowed with strong moral principles and values do possess such an instinct.
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