Adapt and Change
Dear who-so-ever,
In my last post the Virtuous Versions, I told about the various behavioral versions of humankind. But in the end, we found that we are not stuck with a particular type rather we tend to switch ourselves depending on the encountered situations. This might be the right time to say that about 85% of us are the A types i.e., the AMBIVERTS. We all have a comfort zone and the outer world. We exhibit E version while in a comfort zone and I version to the outer world. This is probably what we have considered as normal for a very long era. I too agree that being reserved while meeting new people is good behavior. We don’t want the whole world to know our personal stories, high-low points. Who knows? They might manipulate using the information or have judgmental opinions over us. We already have so many things to deal with. Right? So, the outer world problems are rejected and will not bother us. Now, our comfort zone — friends, family, activities, things, etc. We don’t hesitate to shout out our favorite song even though we don’t sing well. We don’t feel ashamed when we trip hard in front of our family. We don’t sit back and watch when an activity is going on unless there are new people. There are people who understand you and also people who are just around. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are surrounded only by people who want to see you grow. There can be people who just hang out, who use you for their deeds, who don’t do anything but sticks with you, who play double games on you. I’m not saying that every comfort zone has them but this is what I have seen throughout the years. If you have a very good circle of people, well then, your comfort zone is taking you somewhere you wanna be. If not?!
My mother has always told me that meeting people was “fate and you have to learn the life lessons they teach you”. My thoughts vary from this. Of course, you can regulate the people you meet and the effect they cause to you. Now, you cannot avoid people interfering in your life but manage. You cannot quit talking to someone but you can reduce the talk so you don’t get the unliking feeling anymore. I could say that 3 good ones are more than enough for a person. But, that’s crazy, and restricting the count of people in our lives is stupid. Connecting with people is inevitable. There’s no sin in it unless if they influence you. You should be your influence no matter what! Don’t be offended that I insist on keeping no friends. The point I want to emphasize is not about the interfering people but YOU. How YOU handle them or how YOU manage people around you.
- Focus on yourself — not your opinions.
- Analyze people around you — don’t judge them.
- Input what is important — not the critics.
This might seem intimidating but let me say something personal to you. I was an E-type. I evolved into an I-type. Now, I am an A-type. This is normal. Being too extroverted, I would talk to anybody but I was dumb. Dumb in the sense of emotion and knowledge. There was so much going on for me. I got overwhelmed and thought that was “cool, fantastic and this is what I am born for”. Nah! Life hit me with reality — I mean people hit me with reality. Some of them were true and remained the same. The rest were not. They talked behind my back, spread rumors, and even tried pulling me down the ladder of life goals. Guess what? I got upset. I was fooled and it’s not their fault. Not my fault too. I learned. This time I started picking out people — stupid decision. It didn’t help me too. I surrounded myself with people who will always encourage me no matter what. We were together with no precedence in both of our lives — wasted. I am thankful to those who are still friends with me but making idle friendship is not what we want. And you don’t need that too! I learned again. This time I got clear. Went with the flow but carefully. I didn’t cut off people or created a criteria list to make someone my friend. This was the hardest part but I am grateful that I did it. I am now progressing towards my life goals and also have a comfort zone for my E-version hunger.
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Everybody wants to do something meaningful in their lives. We want to achieve big or at least reach our long-term goals. This should be our focus point. You might be enjoying your friends’ company, having a lot of fun with them, you might be in the peek of happiness that you’ve never seen. Ask yourselves, is this the only thing you want? No right?! Insisting people to change into A, E, I, O, U types is not my job and it is not what I want to convey.
Don’t Judge, don’t Pick, don’t Filter — learn to Manage.
Get adapted to the situation you are in and make changes to your comfort zone. “Benefit” is not a crime. Nevertheless, when it reciprocates to the other.
