Now Is the Time
Lately, I’ve been thinking about starting a family.
I get excited. Then I get scared.
But one thing I know for sure is this – I am ready.
My journey hasn’t been simple. Health-wise, I’ve been through a lot. And God has truly blessed me with good health now. Sometimes I sit and think, if it weren’t for my health challenges, I probably would have already started a family.
But timing matters. And healing matters.
There were a few things I wanted to check off my list before having children. If I’m honest, those things still aren’t fully checked off. There are goals, plans, versions of myself I imagined I’d become first.
Yet I’ve learned something important: waiting for everything to be “just right” can keep you waiting forever.
Because once one thing is sorted, something else appears. Once one box is ticked, another presents itself.
Life will always be… life-ing.
Perfection is a moving target.
Get CHRISTAL BARRYMORE’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
I mentioned that sometimes I get nervous. What makes me nervous is the idea of being held back. Of losing my identity. Of becoming “just” someone’s mum and disappearing into that role.
But then I pause.
I remember the support I have around me. I remember the strength God has already built in me. And I remind myself that even if I do lose parts of myself in the process, that’s okay.
I have started over before. I have rebuilt before. I know how to find myself again.
I’ve watched my cousin, who is like a sister to me, raise her children up close. I’ve seen the sleepless nights, the sacrifice, the stretching… but I’ve also seen the love.
And that love is unmatched.
The unconditional love I feel for her children alone overwhelms me sometimes. It makes everything else feel small. It reminds me that bringing a child into this world is not about perfection, it’s about purpose, nurture and grace.
Motherhood isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about being willing. And I am willing.
I pray that God continues to bless and guide me through the journey to motherhood. I’ve been waiting for the moment when I could truly say, without fear or hesitation, that I am ready – especially after being restored to good health.
For a long time, I thought readiness would feel louder. More dramatic. More certain.
But instead, it feels calm. It feels grounded. It feels like peace.
Now is the time.
