Great Pretender
“Great Pretender” by Dominic Fike through the eyes of a teenage girl in conflict with a friend, which is the great pretender of the century, she thinks.
Have you ever just have a friend whose personality is just so well-put? She’s nice, funny, and (debatably) smart? Very well in communications, can relate to your situations well, and just seems so tough?
At first, I thought it was jealousy. Self-awareness is one thing that I will always try to put first when I feel like judging someone. But over the time, I have noticed odd stuff about her, and maybe my ‘psychoanalysis’ is only a mere overthinking trait I suffer from — but I personally feel like this deserve to be written and discussed, at least by myself, in my head.
First, everything about her is debatable. There are the small things that often gets missed, but I don’t miss those. Maybe you can say that you’re just a fun person — talking with everyone, acting as if you’re friends with everyone (which ironically just says that you’re no one’s friend, by the way). But you are someone’s friend, friend. She’s my friend, at least. By how long we’ve known each other, I can confidently say that I’ve known you quite well.
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Knowing that she had the ‘dysfunctional home’ background, at some point, I just forgave her for being the way she is. The way she joked at the worst time possible, somehow getting my other friends manipulated by her, saying the wisest words but she herself doesn’t implement it, maybe that’s just her trait. I didn’t tolerate it — My want to be friends with her is bigger than my hatred towards her hypocrisy and manipulative behavior.
At some point, I just wanted her to realize, that the abusive background she comes from is noticeable, and it is valid for her to react such way. Being extra about her condition is not overreacting, she shouldn’t have experienced such stuff. So, I tried telling her — discreetly. Again, I believe because of her background, she became extremely troubled with critics. I mean, doesn’t mean that she can’t feel troubled with them, but she really just can’t accept critics. How soft and polite the critics were, if she doesn’t agree with it, she’ll dismiss it and just thinks that it’s irrelevant. Worse, she’ll think of it as an effort to put her down, and suddenly the next second she’s planning a revenge against the person who criticized her. Honestly, it’s crazy.
She’ll speak lots of wise phrases, give amazing advices, always be put up and say that she’s amazing in debate. She’s building the image of a perfect child — because that’s all she’s ever known. She was whipped into shape to be the perfect child. Traditions will always side to men, so women needs to build their own empire. She’s not just good in making poems, she’s the definition of a ‘sweet talk my way in’. Based on her family background, all of it makes sense.
Lesson of the day, no matter how good you cover up yourself, your narcissistic self will always appear upfront in every inconvenience you face. But, you know, I actually considered her as a friend. I believe that there is a potential inside her to escape her past — to escape the propaganda she’s brought into since she was a kid. Although I’ve always kept a mental note to myself about all of her odd acts, I still want her to know, that she can create a life out of her family. She’s not caged, and she can fly. She can escape and be a better person, improve, and be well.
If I can, I would give her a hug now, and I’ll tell her that life is so much more than it is right now, that you can achieve so many more things and competitiveness won’t get you anywhere but the ground. Determination and discipline might, but competitiveness and over-ambitiousness is a dangerous short-term motivation.
Still, I wish her well.
