Self-made
Not me, neither you, nobody
What is the most important determinant of a child’s future income?
This was a question posed by Branko Milanovic and Arjun Jayadev, economists and experts in the field of inequality. The answer is the Country where this child was born. If your answer was whether the kid works hard, whether it finishes school, or whether it knows how to work with finance, you were wrong. I was also wrong when I answered this question for the first time. But it’s important to ask: Why were we wrong?
The answer to the question is this blog. It is a generally accepted narrative about Self-made people. We believe that our decisions and our financial income depend on us. They depend on our own efforts, on our desire to learn, and maybe on our willingness to take risks…in short, on how we decide.
However, the truth might be different.
First decision
Think about what was your first decision. What was your very first independent decision?
My first decision, before which I can’t think of one, was buying a dinosaur egg that would dissolve in water and reveal a dinosaur inside. I convinced my mom in the toy store that this is how I want to spend “My money” (I got it from my family for holidays and birthdays). Finally, she allowed me to buy it, so a few hours later I got to put the egg into the water. When it dissolved it showed parts of Tyrannosaurus rex. I can say that the result of the first decision was a Tyrannosaurus rex…not bad.
Now think about your first decision. My guess is that it was something similar to my first investment into a dinosaur egg. Maybe it was a decision between a dotted skirt or a plain one, or a dilemma between a stuffed teddy bear or monkey, or between trying spinach or not.
The first (important) decision
Now try to think about your first important or major decision. What was it? How did things change for you and especially when did it happen?
My first major decision was to stop playing hockey when I was 14 years old. Fourteen years.
The first major decision that, I believe, stirred my life certain direction. This occurred to me when I visited a local community center (Romano Jilo) back in my home town Zvolen. This center works with the community in disprivileged neighborhood. That’s in academic language, however, in the street language it includes a stigma to this place and it’s referred to as a Roma ghetto, a place where you shouldn’t go. During my studies in Psychology, we have touched upon inequality multiple times. I was curious enough to borrow a book by Loïc Wacquant: Urban Outcasts. Afterward, I decided to visit the local community center in my home city. With kids we spoke a bit about languages, yet soon went out to help with chores. While working with children, I noticed one little boy about five years old, who didn’t speak much, but I saw him constantly helping with something and smiling. Here and there, when we laughed, I noticed that his teeth were rotten. Among many other impressions, one question stayed with me: Boris, when did you decide to brush your teeth? When did you decide to brush your teeth?
Some people may be tempted to say it’s the parent's fault, please continue.
Undecisions Biological
From the point of view of our development, there are key factors that the Self-made narrative does not address. Concerning Milanovic and Jayadev, I will mention Juraj Čokyna’s book: A okraje máš kde? Its author mentions the effects of chronic stress, environment, diet, and other factors that are key to brain development before birth. His book was inspired by the experience of teaching in a segregated community in eastern Slovakia as a member of Teach for Slovakia. Similar conclusions were reached in the course of developmental psychology. The structure of our brains and our bodies is everywhere but in our hands. In the early stages of our lives, without our doing, our parents and our environment lay the biological foundations of our lives.
Yet, If I mention the Undecisions that determine our biological basis, I must also mention the socio-economic dimension.
Undecisions Socio-economic (privileges)
First of all, I must mention that privileges are perhaps more difficult to understand precisely from the position of the privileged ones. Just like the place of birth, we do not determine our passport, our ethnicity, sexual orientation… and other factors such as the education of our parents, financial assets, social ties, and more. However, a difference in place of birth can mean up to 15 years of difference in your life expectancy. An example of the difference in life expectancy for men between the Westminster and Croydon areas is 15 years while both areas are in London. If you were born male in Croydon, you are likely to live 15 years less than if you were born in Westminster. Your passport can determine whether you move freely or not. The difference between Slovak and Afghan passports is 157 countries that are visa-free for a person with a Slovak passport compared to a person with an Afghan passport. The letter of factors influencing probabilities, and differences is long and specific, even more numerically expressed. Based on this I could pose a question to myself:
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How did I decide to be a Caucasian (or white), heterosexual male with a European passport? How did you decide?
Self-made narrative does not mention or address privileges or biological facts, the focus is on self-determination and self-development.
I will win or I will burn
“It’s your destiny and you have it in your hands.”
This omnipresent statement in our society is related to the self-made narrative. Absolute freedom might seem as a result of this statement. Yet, despite the appearance of complete freedom, people make decisions and behave within the limits set by biological and socioeconomic Undecisions. The greatest freedom is imagination and dreaming, where they end the boundaries of our Undecisions rise.
Rastislav Kulich, CEO of Slovak Google attended the very same high school as I did, in the very same city, where also community center is. Once he came to our school to give a talk. He asked us: what is the biggest filter for applicants to Harvard. His answer was simply not applying. While being in the community center, a boy asked me: To which učňovka did I go? (učnovka is for of post-elementary education, unfit for university or usually further studies). I responded that I went to gymnasium (highschool usually for further university studies). His response was confused: Aha.
Both examples, connected by the same city, yet as if they were different worlds. However, I believe the logic stays the same. Whether Harvard or simply high school for university education, both might be out of imagination and realms of what we perceive as possible. Boy’s confused aha meant that the gymnasium was beyond his boundaries, beyond his imagination, dreams, or probably anyone he knew. In other words, outside of his “freedom”.
“…in your hands”
Might more feel like: “ only in your hands.” I find it a very vulnerable part of this statement. Upon deeper reflection, we might find traces of current psychopathology, namely anxiety. Assuming that my entire destiny is solely in my hands and that only I am to be held responsible leads us to two possible conclusions and the spectrum in between. If I “win” in life, I’m the only one to praise, but if I “lose” I have only myself to blame.** If I feel bad, I have only myself to blame. If I’m feeling good, it’s my own “fault”. It is also important to realize the weight of fate “In our hands” can create pressure to do things as best as possible. The pressure and desire for the best possible decisions leading to the best results can be one of the main causes of the increase in anxiety.
5:00 AM
What causes anxiety and stress for some may be a source of motivation for others. The narrative that our destiny is only in our hands is also a source of motivation to get the most out of it. Work harder, get up earlier, eat faster and do more, more and more. The motive is clear, fate is only “in my hands” Therefore, I have to do everything to succeed. The fast pace, pressure, and deprioritization of health or family can lead to “self-made success” on one hand, but on the other, burnout.
However, let me return to the point, beyond individual psychology, and deepen the key statement from the point of view of our society. If I feel bad, I have myself to blame. If I’m feeling good, it’s my own responsibility. In addition to the price we might pay as individuals, there is a price we all share as a society.
If we believe that we “self-made” won, we naturally believe that someone “self-made” lost.
In the context of the freedom to decide one’s fate, both persons are to blame. However, in both cases, we ignore biological Undecisions, just like the socio-economic ones, which have a great influence on who “wins” and who “loses”.
What’s more, Imagine, dear reader, that you are winning and you believe that you are winning purely by your merit and hard work, what is your motivation to share with people who are losing, believing that they are losing purely by their merit? What will be the result of such thinking? What kind of society can we imagine or see?
Together-made (alternative)
My aim is not to take away your hard work and point out its insignificance compared to where you were born.
My aim is to open up the discussion before we over-focus on our hard work and overestimate its impact.
Most of all, my goal is to move our self-image to the level of Together-made, because I believe that the greater part of our efforts will be directed towards improving the context of where others may be born and at the same time improving our situation as well.
Thank you for your reading,
Boris Bielik
