What is the ‘Something Else’ that Nags at me…

There is a ‘me’ that missed my moment and is trying to emerge.

The week that was…

Photo taken by the author.

The weather has been overcast and blustery over the last few days.

One evening, I rode along the bay at high tide to buy Thai takeaway. The water was brown from the sand stirred up by the wind and the sky’s reflection.

The whitecaps took the edge off an otherwise gloomy scene. No one was out.

My soul got an airing as waves broke on the rocks.

I returned to ‘self’. A child spending weekends sailing on Auckland harbour, where it mostly rained, when my life was forming. Before my early teens, when I went into survival mode.

I am not in survival mode anymore. No major difficulties. Few responsibilities. My ‘being’ though, is searching for something left behind. A me that I couldn’t bring forward because of life’s weighty twists and turns.

I am a year off sixty…

But where was I?

What dropped away that needs reigniting?

If life didn’t bend me in another direction, who might I have been?

Biking in the wind by the bay gives me some reprieve, and writing does too.